First
by skysinger
Summary: "I don't want to lose you." "You couldn't lose me if you tried." Insurgent spoilers.


Lynn watches her friends from the far corner of the dining hall. A bitter taste fills her mouth as she watches Uriah lean closer to Marlene to whisper something in her ear. Her laugh travels across the room – Lynn can hear it ringing in her ears. They get up at the same time, parting with a quick hug before Uriah dashes off somewhere with his brother. Marlene leaves by herself. Lynn stands, too, and moves quickly to catch her before she disappears.

"Why'd you do that?"

Marlene keeps walking down the long hall, and Lynn quickens her pace. She grabs Marlene's shoulder to slow her down. Marlene turns on the spot, swatting down her arm and glaring at her with cold eyes. "Leave me alone."

"Why'd you do it? God, you could have at least waited until after dinner." Her voice is higher and more pinched than she wants it to be. Her throat is burning, and she swallows hard to push the feeling away. It doesn't work.

"You _told _me to, Lynn!" Marlene shakes her head. "We've talked about this. You knew it was coming."

"Just because I knew it was coming…" Lynn takes an unsteady breath, and starts over. Her voice is barely above a whisper. "Just because I knew it was coming doesn't make it any easier."

Marlene looks away. "You can't do this to me, Lynn. It's not fair."

A bitter laugh escapes her. "Not fair? Oh, I could tell you a thing or two about not fair. Don't pull that bullshit with me."

"It isn't fair, though! I'm…" Marlene hesitates briefly, and keeps her eyes focused on the ground. "Uriah, he's good for me. He makes me happy."

Something inside Lynn breaks when she hears those words. She suddenly feels winded, breathless – like she was punched in the gut before she had the chance to tighten her core. It's the last straw, the final blow that brings her to her knees.

She turns her head so that Marlene won't see as she tries to blink away tears.

It doesn't work. She flinches when she feels a hand come to rest on her shoulder. Marlene's voice is soft. "I wish it didn't have to be this way."

"Yeah, well." Lynn's voice is harsh, but she knows that if she takes the edge off her words she won't be able to stop herself from crying. "Wishing doesn't do anyone any good." She turns further to the side and embraces her anger; she knows that's the only way she'll stay composed. She is Dauntless. She is brave. There is no other option. She shifts away from Marlene's hand and lifts her chin, standing tall.

"I don't want to lose you, Lynn."

Lynn feels her shoulders sag back down. She looks up at Marlene, and doesn't shy away from the intensity of her gaze. It would be impossible to look anywhere else; everything is insignificant compared to those piercing eyes.

They stand there, frozen in place. When Lynn finally opens her mouth to break the silence, she feels herself breaking even further.

"You couldn't lose me if you tried."

Suddenly, Marlene's arms are around her in a tight hug, and she's knocked back a step. Lynn returns the gesture slowly, letting her fingers trace the taut muscles in Marlene's shoulders as she pulls her closer. All of her senses are overwhelmed by Marlene, and she feels herself never wanting to let go.

Then Marlene kisses her.

It's quick, but it's enough to send a shock of energy through Lynn's body, and her stomach drops like it does when she rides the zip line. She gasps into the soft lips pressed against her own, but just as quickly as they arrived they are gone.

Marlene is gone, too, disappearing through a door at the end of the hallway.

Lynn stays frozen in place, unable to make her body work properly. She hears nothing but her heartbeat ringing in her ears. Her training kicks in, and she works to calm her ragged breathing and regain control. It doesn't work as well as she wants it to, but she slowly turns around and walks toward the medical area. Marlene had been heading back to the dormitories, so she wants to distance herself from Marlene to collect her thoughts a bit and pull herself together. It won't be the first night she's spent staying with her sister. By the time she takes her usual seat next to Shauna's bed, Lynn is back in control – her own sister doesn't even notice anything wrong.

When Lynn wakes up the next morning, Marlene is dead.


End file.
